I always kind of wanted a tattoo…
but to be honest, I think you need a really good reason to get your first tattoo. That’s why I had never gotten one. Nothing in my life had been significant or powerful enough to merit getting something permanently placed on my body.
I remember in the week following Blakely’s death, Morgan’s uncle came over to talk with us and, having also lost a baby, showed us the tattoo he got in her memory. It was a beautiful tattoo that had meaning and purpose. Even after seeing it, though, the thought hadn’t occurred to me to get one. That is, until Morgan looks at me and says, “You know, you could get a tattoo too if you wanted one.”
If there was ever a reason I had to get a tattoo, there was none better than this one.
Long story short, the next month we went to Nashville with Morgan’s parents, I made an appointment at a tattoo shop while we were there, and I came back to Missouri with my first ever tattoo (pictured right).
This tattoo is absolutely filled with ways for me to keep our daughter close to my mind and heart. The text is in the same font we used for her gender-reveal sign we had hung in her room. The flowers are patterns off of some of her most worn onesies. The location is so that when I’m playing guitar while we worship Jesus I can look down and remember that we’ll see her again.
This tattoo has lead to many conversations! Most of them the normal, short, “Oh I like your tattoo!” type of conversations. And, because I never want to shy away from talking about Blakely, I always tell them what it means and who she was. Usually this leads to the conversation being a little uncomfortable, but that’s ok. Grief, loss, pain, and sadness are all hard to deal with. But I’d rather bring her up than keep our love and memory of her quiet.
Some conversations, though, go just a step further. One of my prayers following Blakely’s death was that God would give us opportunity to talk about her life in a way that honors Him, and He has actually used this tattoo to fulfill this promise.
Fast forward to about a month ago while we were at Target. As always, we were in the line at Starbucks inside Target waiting to order. It was then that I had a woman with her teenage daughter in line behind us start a conversation with me.
“I’m sorry, but could I just look at your tattoo? It’s beautiful.” Through some laughter I tell her that of course she can and proceed to show her and explain to her how we had a daughter named Blakely who passed away 5 weeks after she was born and this was a tattoo for her.
“The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.”
The next thing I knew, she was in tears and just holding my arm giving us her condolences. It was a sweet moment, and I got to express our thankfulness and how the Lord got us through. I asked her name, to which she replied, “Sunny.”
I told her it was nice to meet her and I was glad to have been able to talk with her. And then she said something that really touched my heart.
“I really needed to see that today.”
I was so touched and so thankful that God had given us the opportunity to talk to Sunny that day. Morgan and I walked away with our hearts full, prayed together that Sunny would be blessed and the Lord would heal whatever part of her heart needed it, and haven’t forgot that moment since.
I know there’s a huge debate surrounding Christianity and tattoos, but the redemptive power of Jesus means that He can use a tattoo in memory of a loved one gotten in His honor to bring healing, love, and hope to those who may see it.
