I’ve always been a pretty determined person. Growing up, I played all the sports and while some kids play for the fun of it, Morgan played to win. That was probably a byproduct of the family I was apart of, but nevertheless, I was bound and determined to do well in whatever I did. Sports, school, clubs, etc, I challenged myself.
Track and field was no different. Now naturally I’m not the fastest person in the world, but for what I lacked in speed I made up for in grit and determination. I remember one practice in particular, Coach had us run to Coffee Creek Hill. Once we arrive, Coach was standing there with a stop watch and said we were gonna run an undetermined amount of hills. Of course, we aren’t super excited about the idea, but we’re training for the state meet so we held our complaints to a minimum. We ran 1… then 2… then 3… 4… 5… after each hill, Coach would ask us if we could do one more. Through my huffing and puffing, I decided I had another in me so off we went again up the steep incline. I made that decision over and over again until I had ran the hill 15 times.
When we arrived at Coffee Creek, Coach didn’t ask us to run 15 hills. He didn’t ask us to run 5 hills. He just asked us to run the hill. In doing so, he didn’t limit us, but also didn’t overwhelm us with an almost impossible goal. He just kept repeating,
“can you do one more?”
Here I am 15 years later and I can’t tell you how many times God has asked me a version of that question. “Can you take one more step? Can you make it one more day?”
God knows my limits, especially when it comes to the never ending journey of grief, and he knew what to say and where to meet me in that grief. When it was a struggle to simply breathe and try to imagine making it through the next moment, He didn’t say “ok Morgan suck it up, because after this moment, a million more are coming down the pipe.”
He simply met me there and asked me “can you do one more?”
That question is what made my journey through grief manageable at times. Left to myself, I would be crippled by the thought of a life-time worth of grief-stricken moments; but when my sight is narrowed to simply making it through one more moment, I know that’s possible.
So here I am, taking this journey day by day, moment by moment, trusting that Jesus is holding my tomorrow. I can do one more.